September Regrets

September whooshed by like a buzzsaw through balsa wood, blowing me down and chipping away pieces of self I thought were necessary, creating a new surface, weather worn, badly in need of sanding, and dented from the impact of what seemed then such gentle encounters.

I pick at the sawdust remnants of what once were visions. They are jagged and small. They lie in tiny mounds like anthills raised from the soft-packed depths into daylight.

September regrets: Missed the Thurber House Evening with Authors. Got stuck at work and would have missed the majority of that event.

September regrets: Missed the Jazz Slam. I don't think I've ever had a beat inside me. Maybe I should have shown up to be inspired, but I was so tired at the time. I gave in to soft spot and a pillow on the sofa, tried my best to watch a movie. Woke up when Mya licked my face to wake me. She wanted to go outside but I don't know why--she'd already made her puddle.

September regrets: I haven't mailed nearly enough submittals to journals this month.

Turning Corners

You ever get to a point of change, ready to turn a corner but old projects and obligations keep you from moving? Yeah. A stale place, where the air has not moved in what seems centuries. I'm there today. Got something brewing inside, something different but still have things to finish here, in this current phase before I can move on.

Maybe it's the same doldrums I experienced the last two times I went to Nationals--a sort of anti-climax that lingers while one reassesses goals.

Still wrestling with that compete or not compete question. Still struggling to get back to my first love--page publication. Still listening for that hidden voice and, unfortunately, still sitting over my journal with a pen in my hand and no words coming. This is not a block--it's more of an intrusion, daily life overtaking my creative moments, stealing the fresh images again. Once again I find I'm learning to pace myself and breathe.

A Woman You Know is in second printing. Nice to know folks still enjoy my humble words.

Today's music: Joss Stone, "Mind, Body and Soul"
Favorite cuts: "Right to Be Wrong," "You Had Me," "Don't Cha Wanna Ride"
Today's goal: Submit at least two poem groups to selected journals. Get organized for my Larry's feature. Get back into Larry's season mode and support the troops. Get back into technology mode with my job--new project breathing down my neck.
Weekend Plans: Find out whether there's any jazz in my jazzmoe.

Today's Mood

Today's music: Hiroshima, "Obon"

Favorite cuts: "Obon two-five," "Mr. Robben"

Today's goal: Submit at least two poem groups to selected journals.
Survive a very slow work day when I'd love to be writing.

Weekend Plans: Restore order to my life.

The skies are dark over northwest Columbus today. We will be dodging raindrops any minute.

Rework, Revise, Rework, Revise

Reworked three or four older poems yesterday and today. They taste much better on the palate now.

Preparing some submittals--venues I'd planned to send to back in spring, before I procrastinated.

Life is back in order. This feels very good. Very good indeed.

September/October Engagements

Just recording my engagements here for the loyal few:

September 17 -- FEATURE and talk, Ohio Poetry Association monthly meeting.
September 22 -- Thurber House Evening with Authors (for Pudding House)
September 25 -- Writer's Ink Book Fair, Thurber Center (for Pudding House)
September 30 -- Jazz Slam, Columbus Music Hall, 9:00 PM (either slamming or attending)
October 3 -- FEATURE, The Poetry Forum at Larry's, 2040 North High Street, 7:00 PM
October 20 -- FEATURE, Kafe Kerouac, 2250 North High Street, 9:00 PM
October 24 -- MINI-FEATURE, Mansfield Poetry Coffee House, Mansfield Arts Center, 700 Marion Avenue, Mansfield, Ohio

I'll update this entry if anything changes.

Finally, one voice, in stereo

Okay... I think I've finally got my Blogger.com blog connected to my livejournal site. Shared posts! Woo hoo!

Finally, just one voice. Maybe people will find me out here now.

Anyone on live journal is welcome to read my archives at http://conversant2.blogspot.com.

(Updated 9/7: Okay, so maybe not. I'm still waiting for livejournal to react to my emails.)

Rose

If you had it to do over again...

Sometimes I think, if I had it to do over again, that I'd major in English with a Creative Writing emphasis. My heart is really in the writing, and not in computer science. Ah well, we all have things we wish we'd done differently. I have twenty years of them to think about.

Today was a lazy day. Labor Day. Day to relax and remember how hard generations before us worked to get employment situations to where they are (before Bush and others before drove the economy into its current downturn). I spent the day watching and rewatching a very compelling film and wondering whether I could have written it better or differently. Maybe I'll take a stab at that novel that's been on the back burner for five years or more.

Planning to get back to poetry submittals full force this season. I have forsaken my first love while I let my personal life crowd me into a very tiny corner.

Here's to turning corners.